I’m Already in Bondage, Thank You


Excerpt one from my young chick novel in progress, When Men Become Civilized

 

My girlfriend Kate kept going on and on about that book. And now the movie too. She wanted to get a dungeon or something.

“Kate, that is so stupid.”

“Why? Brett’s into it. Everybody’s into it these days.”

I screamed.

“No, I’m not into it.”

Kate shrugged.

“So, what about you?! What do you want?!”

“I’m just curious, okay?”

Kate was glued to a rerun of 2 Broke Girls and getting her comfort Jones on with a pint Häagen-Dazs. She looked up at me from the sofa. I shook my head, standing on the other side of her coffee table.

“Whatever,” she said. “I only know, if Brett’s happy, I’m happy.”

Kate performed fellatio on another spoonful of the Vanilla Almond Fudge. Her eyes darted my way.

“It’s true, isn’t it? If our boyfriends are happy, what do we care? Besides, it sounds exciting to me.”

I screamed.

“I can’t even talk to you, Kate. Why would you want to let someone torture you? Let alone stick around in a relationship if you’re not happy?”

“Who said I’m not happy? I’ve got a big hunk. He’s got money. What do I care if he wants to have a little kinky fun?”

I screamed.

“Please stop screaming.”

“Fine.”

I sat down.

“Look. It’s a transaction. I’ll grant you that. But why lie down in the middle of the road for some idiot. What? You don’t think Brett will just toss you aside the minute he gets bored?”

Kate remained glued to the rerun without answering. My eyes were glued on her.

“What?” she said. “Quit staring at me.”

“Fine. I’ve got to go.”

I stood up and headed for the door.

“God, look at you,” Kate said. “You’re like the bitch from hell. No wonder you’ve got a jerk for a boyfriend.”

I screamed.

“I   will   see   you   later…”

I shut the door, furious, but Kate’s words haunted me all the way down the road. I had to go to the gym just to work off the frustration.

While cranking on the elliptical, I noticed this ‘hunk’ type over in the weight room staring at me. Probably had me pictured in his dungeon. I turned up the machine and got really furious.

Don’t even think about it, meathead. I’m the bitch from hell.

Leaving the gym, I saw “my jerk” had called. Kate was right about that much. I ignored him.

On the way home, he called again. I was of a mind not to pick up. The problem was, I would probably find him waiting at my front door.

“Hi,” I said, answering the call.

“Where are you?”

“Over at Kate’s.”

“I called her fifteen minutes ago. She said you had left an hour ago.”

“I went to the gym.”

“So why didn’t you just say that?”

“What, are you stalking me?”

“I just want to see you, that’s all.”

Translation, I’m horny and want to get my rocks off. I could see myself bent over. Bam ba bam ba bam ba bam. Head knocking into the headboard.

“Darryl, I’m just not in the mood right now. Maybe tomorrow night.”

“What? You don’t love me anymore?”

I wanted to scream. I never said I did!!!

“Look, just call me tomorrow, okay? It’s late and I have a hard day at work tomorrow.”

“Okay, whatever.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Okay, I’ll talk to you later.”

I got off, relieved. Five minutes later, I found his stupid looking truck parked out in front of my apartment. Raised three feet off the ground. Oversized tires. You needed a ladder to get in.

I screamed. I almost kept going.

Instead, I parked and climbed the stairs. Before I could open the door to my apartment, Darryl did it for me. I made a beeline for the bathroom as if he wasn’t there.

“Whoa, girl. What’s up?”

I stopped in my tracks.

“ ‘Whoa, girl. What’s up’ What are you, Iced-T? And what part of, ‘I have a hard day at work tomorrow’ do you not understand?”

“Wow. You know you’re fucking gorgeous when you get mad?”

I let out a scream that I quickly throttled when I realized it was going on midnight.

“Come on, girl. Give me some skin. I just want to be sweet to you.”

Feeling violated, I surrendered one more time and let Darryl grope me.

“I need to use the bathroom, okay?”

“Sure, baby.”

He gave my ass an extra squeeze before I left. Wow. What a display of tenderness. It felt like a gorilla had groped me.

In the bathroom, I leaned over the counter and stared at myself in the mirror. Visions of slashing knives passed through my head.

When are you going to stick up for yourself, girl?

Resigned to the least contentious path of getting Darryl back out the door, I went from the bathroom to the bedroom. Five minutes later, he had me on my hands and knees on the bed.

Bam ba bam ba bam ba bam. My head and hair flying.

I felt suicidal and homicidal all at once.

True to form, Darryl caressed me a few minutes after he was done, just enough to convince himself that it wasn’t all about getting his rocks off, and he was getting back into his clothes.

I lay there flat on my face, not wanting to look.

“God, you’re good,” he said with a kiss on my neck before leaving.

Thanks, Darryl. That made me feel so much better. I made a mental note to have the locks changed at the first opportunity.